“Once you’ve been launched into parenthood, you’ll need all your best skills, self-control, good judgment and patience. But at the same time there is nothing like the thrill and exhilaration that come from watching that bright, cheerful, inquisitive, creative, eccentric and even goofy child you have raised flourish and shine. That’s what keeps you going, and what, in the end, makes it all worthwhile.” Lawrence Balter, Child Psychologist
A Child Custody Battle is Not War
The most important thing parents can do when working out their children’s shared parenting schedule is to remember that it’s about the kids. Getting stressed or angry with your ex while organizing schedules? Ask yourself if you’re upset because this arrangement is bad for your child, or because you’re just frustrated with your ex. Even though, generally, schedules are worked out in court settled custody agreements, arrangements are never set in stone and can typically be revisited.
Communicate with Your Kids
While handling the nitty, gritty details of who will pick up when has to be left up to the parents, communicating with your kids about the whys and whats of shared parenting is essential to the process. Here are some surefire tips that’ll help the process run more smoothly.
- Come to an Agreement with Your Ex
Regardless of how you and your former feel about each other, put on a unified front before the kids and for the kids. If possible, communicate major changes together. After all, they’re not losing Mom and Dad. It’s just different now.
- Forget the Drama
Never blame the other parent in front of your kids. It’ll backfire and create emotional stress on your child. Over time, it’ll have a huge, negative impact.
- Highlight the Positives
When there are negative things that happen, such as one parent missing a soccer game, remember to sandwich that news with positive information. “Dad has to work out of town this week, but he’s going to pick you up for a movie the night he gets home.”
- Allow for Questions
There’s nothing worse than a kid being lost in his own thoughts, to his own doubt. Ask if he or she has any questions about what’s happening. Listen intently, then answer.
You’re Still a Parent
Always remember, just because you’re divorced, you don’t have any less responsibility when it comes to parenting. Learn to adapt to the difference in the situation and take time to focus on your child’s grow.
We Can Help
Whether you need representation in your divorce case or advice regarding your child custody issues, we can help. We’ll hear your case with the professionalism you expect. At the Law Office of Ronald L. Kossack, we take a team approach to helping with your law matters. We will aggressively fight for your desired results. To speak with an attorney about your law matter, contact our offices online or by calling 480-345-2652.