Understand this fact – your divorce will have a very real, and possibly lasting, affect on your children. When kids do not have a healthy way to process it during separation and divorce proceedings and after divorce is final, the emotional affects can be traumatic. Some studies show that the life change brought on in the aftermath of a divorce can be dramatic. Some kids experience psychological distress that affect their behavior through teenage years and negatively impact academic performance. Still, if divorce is imminent do not let this potential impact get you down. These tips will help put the kids needs first as you prepare for the coming discussion with them.
Agree To Agree
Sit down with the kids together. This can go a long way to absorb the negative impact of the news. If doing this together is not possible, discuss with one another which one of you will break the news to the kids. Then agree to have a united front when you do. The united front is not about agreeing who’s right, or who’s at fault. It’s about doing what is best for the kids.
Work Your Plan
Plan this discussion. Think through what questions and reactions you may get. Be prepared to have to draw out the right questions. Again, a lack of opportunity to process this is unhealthy. Expect it to be messy and work your plan.
What They Don’t Know Can Help Them
Certainly the age-appropriateness of your discussion should be considered when you have younger kids. No matter how old your kids are, though, (this applies to adult kids), don’t use facts to place blame. Tell the truth but do your best to avoid language, tone, or posture that communicates blame. This may take some time to prepare for, but your kids are worth it. Especially if there was egregious behavior on the part of one or both of you, what your kids do not know can actually help them.
Help With Difficult Divorce Challenges
If you enlist the advocacy of our firm, we will work to provide you with solutions to difficult questions. Divorce mediation is an option that will give you more control over the outcome of your case. Our goal is to help you find resolutions that meet your family’s specific needs and goals.
Uniquely Experienced Arizona Family Law Attorney
At the Law Office of Ronald L. Kossack, we handle all aspects of family law cases including divorce mediation, child custody, child support, and alimony. To schedule your free initial consultation to discuss your story with an experienced Arizona lawyer, contact us online, or simply give us a call anytime at 480-345-2652.