Co-parenting can be stressful, and the holidays multiply that stress! After all, the holidays are a stressful time for anyone, with all of the family obligations and schedules to juggle. But if you’re divorced, worrying about child custody and parenting agreements adds another level of stress. In today’s blog post, the divorce lawyers at The Law Office of Ronald Kossack in Tempe are sharing a few tips to reduce stress for you and your children over the holidays.
Make A Plan
Your parenting time agreement should contain a holiday schedule, which will make things easier since you’ve already decided who your child will spend which holidays with. However, things may have changed over the years since you made that parenting plan! A divorce lawyer like Ronald Kossack can help you modify the parenting plan.
If you don’t already have a holiday plan in place, you’ll need to sit down with your co-parent and create one together. If you have challenges coming to an agreement on your own, contact a divorce lawyer.
Prioritize Your Kids
One thing you and your co-parent can agree on is that your kid’s experience during the holidays is the most important. By prioritizing your children in the decision-making process, you’ll be able to reframe your discussions about the holidays. For example, if you want to squeeze multiple family celebrations into a single day, think about how that will feel from your child’s point of view. Will they get enough time to relax and spend quality time with their loved ones? The goal is to make memories and celebrate together, not to be exhausted!
Acknowledge Reality
Don’t try to pretend that the holidays are the same as they always have been. Acknowledge the reality that things are different and validate your child’s emotions. Holidays are often structured around time with family, and they can cause a lot of emotions after divorce. Your child may act out and you may find yourself feeling lonely. This is especially true if it’s the first holiday after your divorce. Change is difficult, and it’s vital to remind yourself, your children, and your co-parent that things are different so that you can work through your grief in healthy ways.
Don’t Compete With Your Co-Parent
It can be tempting to overcompensate by buying lots of presents for your child or showering your kids with big parties in order to compete with your co-parent or try to buy your way to love with your child. It can not only lead to resentment from your co-parent, but also put your child in an awkward position. Have a plan in place and coordinate gifts with your co-parent so that you don’t duplicate gifts or try to one-up each other.
Be Flexible
With co-parenting and divorce, you’ll have to compromise. You won’t get everything you want, and neither will your co-parent. Being flexible can be difficult, but it’ll make things easier for everyone.
Take Care Of Yourself!
Self-care is always important, but it’s especially important to take care of yourself during holidays. Parents that are managing their stress and their physical and mental health are better able to take care of their children. Even though you’re likely to be very busy during the holidays, try to get enough sleep, eat well, and protect your personal time. Be intentional about how you spend time with friends and family and give yourself breaks while your child is with your co-parent. If you feel that you can’t manage your stress on your own, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist.
The Law Office of Ronald Kossack – Tempe Divorce Lawyer
We hope that you found this blog post useful and that your holidays go smoothly for everyone involved! If you’re in need of a divorce lawyer for divorce modification or any other issues regarding family law, we’re here to help. The Law Office of Ronald Kossack is proud to represent clients in Tempe and the surrounding area, including Phoenix, Mesa, Chandler, Gilbert, and Ahwatukee. If you’re looking for a divorce attorney or divorce mediation, we’d be more than happy to talk with you about your options and what we can do for you. We also focus on areas of paternity, child custody, decision-making, child support, and modifications to existing court orders. Schedule a free consultation today.