Deciding to get a divorce is hard enough, but then talking to your current partner about filing for divorce can often seem even more daunting. It’s crucial that you handle this situation in a way that will set you up well for the rest of the divorce process.
Here at The Law Office of Ronald Kossack, we’re committed to helping clients throughout Phoenix, Scottsdale, Chandler, Mesa, and Tempe work through the divorce process. Our law firm is known throughout the area for superior attention to detail and dedication to cases. Divorce lawyer Ronald Kossack has more than 30 years of experience — contact our law office today to work with an experienced divorce lawyer.
Be Confident In Your Decision
We’ve all heard the stories about the spouses who file for divorce and then recommit to each other in that process. While that’s wonderful if it works for you, you should go into the divorce process with a firm knowledge that this is what you want. With this resolute frame of mind, you’ll be able to handle the difficult tasks you’ll overcome during the divorce process, like filing for divorce, negotiating child support, and determining joint or sole custody.
By being confident in your decision, you can make sure to handle the divorce process — and the divorce conversation — in a way that you won’t regret.
Consider Location, Day & Time
A crowded dinner at a busy restaurant is most likely not the ideal time to tell your partner you want a divorce. Nor is it ideal to discuss filing for divorce with friends and family there (unless you feel it’s necessary for your safety).
Choose a neutral location with a day and time that won’t negatively influence your schedule or their schedule too much. Obviously, there’s never a perfect time to discuss filing for divorce — but you can minimize the damage by choosing as good of a time and location as possible.
Don’t Get Into The Details (Yet)
Don’t worry — the details of your divorce will come up before you know it. If this initial conversation immediately turns into a conversation about who gets the furniture, house, vehicles, and child custody, then this conversation will quickly unravel to an uncomfortable, unproductive argument.
The details of your divorce will have their time and place, but it’s simply not during the first conversation. You’ll want to discuss everything with your divorce lawyer and find a solution that works for both you and your partner, along with Arizona’s laws.
Be Honest About Your Feelings & Decision
Now is not the time to be wishy-washy and unsure. You should clearly express your feelings to your partner — even if you’re afraid that what you say will be hurtful. There’s no need to be vindictive or accusatory here; simply express that you’ve given this a lot of thought, you are firm in your decision, you want a divorce, and you’re meeting with a divorce lawyer to work out all the details and paperwork.
Listen To & Respect Their Reaction
This conversation should not be one-sided, even if you were the one who brought it up. Your partner will need time to process and think about what you’ve said, especially if the two of you have never discussed divorce previously.
Give them time to process — just as you’ve spent time thinking and processing — and listen respectfully to their reaction. If you’re firm in your decision like you should be, you won’t let anything they say sway you to change your decision. This being said, it’s not fair for you to deal with verbal or physical abuse at all during this time. Just as you spoke and listened respectfully, they should do the same.
Reaffirm You Want A Divorce
After listening to all your partner has to say about your announcement that you’re filing for divorce, vocally reaffirm your decision. It’s important for your partner to hear, again, that you do indeed want a divorce and are working through everything with a divorce lawyer. If the desire for divorce isn’t mutual, then this will confirm to your partner that your marriage isn’t something you’re willing to be a part of anymore — it’s time for a divorce, and that’s final.
End The Conversation
If the conversation goes on and on, then both you and your partner may have doubts or talk in circles or say hurtful things. Instead, end the conversation. This will make your wishes known, while also clearly expressing that you don’t wish to discuss it anymore that day. Have a plan for where you’ll stay that night and the following days and weeks (even if that is in the home where you currently live together). Tell your partner if you’re willing to discuss this further and when that would be acceptable. If not, make it clear that you don’t wish to discuss this anymore and that your divorce lawyer will direct you to the next appropriate steps.
Meet With A Divorce Lawyer in Tempe Today
Whether you’re considering mediation or you know you need to go to court to handle child support, child custody, a messy divorce, or more, The Law Office Of Ronald Kossack can help. Visit our Tempe law office today to discuss the upcoming divorce process. Be sure to also check our blogs to learn divorce basics, how to be financially ready for divorce, or how to choose a divorce lawyer.