If you have children, going through a divorce can be especially challenging. Telling kids about your divorce can make you freeze up, and preparing beforehand is a good idea. That way, you can anticipate any questions they may have and prepare what you’re going to say. More so, by preparing with your co-parent, you’ll also be able to deal with your own anxieties ahead of time.
In today’s blog post, we’re sharing a few general tips on how to tell kids about divorce. Continue reading to learn more, and if you’re in need of a divorce lawyer in Tempe or the surrounding area, contact The Law Offices of Ronald Kossack today.
Tell The Truth
Your kids are entitled to know why you’re getting a divorce, but you shouldn’t give them complex reasons. Agree on something simple, but honest, like “we don’t get along anymore.” Protect your kids from hurt or anger by planning together what, and how much, you’ll share with them.
Talk To Your Children Together
It might be hard for you and your ex to talk together, but doing so shows that you’re committed to working together as parents, even if you will no longer be living together. It’s also important that they hear the news at the same time, and directly from you, rather than from a sibling or other family member. So even if your children are of different ages, plan to share the basic information together, and then follow up individually with more age-appropriate information.
If you are getting a divorce because of safety or conflict, then seek help and tell your children on your own and make sure they know how to stay safe.
Tell Your Kids Which Parent Will Leave The Home
Unless you plan to leave your current home or cohabitate, the more you can tell your children about how the living situation will change, the better. If you have decided on where the departing parent will be living and when/whether the kids will see them, the better. This will be one of their biggest questions, and you should try to reassure them that they will be able to have a quality relationship with both parents, no matter where they may be living.
Reassure Them That It’s Not Their Fault
Kids need a lot of reassurance that the divorce is not their fault. In the initial conversation, and throughout the divorce process, it’s important that both you and your co-parent stress that nothing they did caused the divorce. Also, stress that nothing they could have done would prevent it from happening. There are many challenging unknowns in the divorce process, and it helps to reassure them of the things that will stay the same. Stick with assurances you can make, though, and don’t make promises that you may not be able to keep.
Give Them Time To Adjust
Divorce is a big change, for everyone involved. Just as you are taking time to adjust, so will they. During this adjustment period, be emotionally present and answer any questions they may have. Your own healing and building a new family will take time. Don’t push your kids, or yourself, to adjust too quickly.
The Law Office of Ronald Kossack – Tempe Divorce Lawyer
We are proud to represent clients in Tempe and the surrounding area, including Phoenix, Mesa, Chandler, Gilbert, and Ahwatukee. If you’re looking for a divorce attorney or divorce mediation, we’d be more than happy to talk with you about your options and what we can do for you. We also focus on areas of paternity, child custody, decision-making, child support, and modifications to existing court orders. Schedule a free consultation today.